Why the kid hates their parents?
I just can’t consider why one kid hates their parents, although those bones lie to him, and another child, whose mother — a drunk, useless in every sense — and her children the guardianship was taken away and will show up at the shelter, so the child with tears in his eyes rushes, her neck thrown, all mommy, mommy’s favorite calls.
Nonsense it turns out to deal with without which psychological knowledge is difficult.
It is important not who begat and raised as
Every child is born with certain mental properties, not inherited, given to him on a basic level. In the process of growing it is expected that the child will develop their potentialities, to join the culture. But often this does not happen. Impact is a difference in the child’s upbringing.
Guarantee the right of education in which the child will be fully and harmoniously develop, implement given the natural potential in society is not social status of the child’s family, the external reliability of the parents, their education, etc. Because in a normal, wealthy families, educated parents grow children who find themselves on the sidelines of life, I choose alcohol, drugs, do not want to do anything, sitting on the neck of caring and loving parents, I live with resentment and hatred for the native people, etc.
The fact is that you cannot educate all children equally, it is impossible to raise a child as educated you and even as you dreamed that you were raised by their parents. And it is quite possible (and often happens) that parents and children are not identical in their properties, they can not understand the child through his own attitude, through its system of values.
– Who are you just such a freak?
We you an apartment, bought a car, a job paying arranged why you don’t appreciate, why go to another city and live there in uncomfortable conditions?
Child – an individual, it is not a mirror of their parents, but it largely depends on what kind of upbringing he was given.
Where does the hatred?
Kid hates their parents. Annoy him. Invents, drawing attention to himself. Living in resentment against the mother or father. Puberty – grow and people will understand and appreciate the concerns of parents will thank me for that in check he was holding.
This way we can find long explanation, only the use of it a little – maybe so, maybe not. We are not one iota closer to the truth, explaining the reasons for the behavior of another person, even their own offspring (who are also parents know the child better another misconception) through the prism of their own ideas about life. Remember – everything – we initially different. But the nature of hatred, animosity we have one, its different.
Education – vaccination against hatred. Love the opposite of hate. Hatred in the soul is a consequence of improper training. What we forgive yourself vehemently hated in others because we learn in them a part of yourself to which you feel disgusted.
What should parents do?
A man cannot be born, they need to be…
The baby lives more instincts than social norms and that’s fine. He shows hostility to others, because he lacks the necessary social skills. The task of educating these skills for him to cultivate, to raise a child Person.
Another thing is when an adult shows hatred towards parents, children, the whole world – it is a diagnosis subhuman. He was a man in the Bud, but was never able to grow a Human. Nature does not give us good or bad vectors – everyone has a chance to be happy, to become human, but the realities of life, both objective and subjective circumstances do not allow this scenario to happen.
And, again, the basis of all the failed life scenarios of people is a global lack of understanding by parents of the inner world of their child. They don’t see their needs, I don’t know that he really need to be happy and do whatever they like, at their discretion and volition, and hostages of this situation are the children .
Lead is a common example from the school of life: skin, eye mother is a successful career woman, an attractive woman gave birth to a child, in fact, that was and created the appearance of its normality in a family plan (not only is she a business woman, and mother). In her way she cared about the baby, loved it – the best nannies, fashionable clothes, huge walk-in closet, a prestigious school… And the girl was born with anal vector – quiet, obedient, home-keeping, for nimble dam falls, the value of brands does not feel that she would want the mother of the house was, pies cooked by head stroked, praised for the accuracy and diligence, and my mother thinks otherwise: a successful mother, a successful child, a happy mom is a happy baby.
Turned out, as you know, is not so. Mom thought that the main thing is to ensure a decent life for the child, to give him only bigger and better (out, my parents and dress normal I have never bought, and I dreamed about it), while most do not turn into a broody hen, the daughter may well be proud of their beautiful, youthful mother in front of her classmates. The daughter felt the external well-being of the family that the mother does not love her (little attention) that their gifts “bribes” from it. Resentment against the mother, the complexes of inferiority (mom slender, and she is slightly overweight, etc.) grew into a hatred of the mother and charged her in all of life’s setbacks daughter.
Makes no sense to discuss who is to blame – it does not carry any form does nothing for no one. Much more important to see: why it happened? Why mom and daughter the same situation is perceived radically differently?
The conclusion is obvious: we are all born different and raise a child just only when we understand what the child nature has given us, than it awarded and how to educate. It’s a good idea to know more about their “cockroaches” in the head and the soul.
P. S. with Regards to the children from the orphanage, which is seemingly naturally hate the parents who abandoned them to their fate, these have the feelings of tenderness, love because they are brought up properly and taught them cultural norms that have developed this quality of humanity (Yes, im talking good about the mom, teach children to be kind, cultural, etc.).
And rightly so. Because to live in love, to live with an open heart, to live in hate, sometimes one parent nurtures respect to the other after divorce or a grandmother, raising children and detractors in their eyes, the parents, the child (immature, unformed personality) is extremely difficult. The child develops in hatred, he remains at the primitive perception of other people dislike using. We ourselves swarm pit, not instilling the love child (no matter how bad the child’s parents were really, why should it pour your negative?). This hatred then come back to us like a boomerang. The development of vectors ends after puberty and everything, the train was gone. The child is accustomed to hate and not know how to build relationships with others on a different basis.