I need the company
Your child does not like to play alone? He doesn’t know what to do when you offer him to play in his room? Baby and then break you from household chores, requiring participation in their undertakings: “let’s Build a tower together?” You patiently hoisting the cubes on top of one another, admire the height and strength of construction. and hurry to return to the interrupted work. But there it was, because he’s already running toward you with the following request: “will You help me with drawing?” Why is the kid not able to play independently?
Playing alone, the child receives a special, incomparable pleasure. But, while alone, he should feel safe and secure. Because in most cases the difficulty is not that the kid can’t figure out what to do, and that he is not too confident without my mother’s presence. Some children seem to be “forgotten”, immersed in the game, at this time they are not interested in the whereabouts of the parents. The kids absolutely serene, because they believe that the mother is nearby and will not disappear until they play selflessly. But many children, left alone, even for a short time and lost the ability to control you, I feel great anxiety. Loneliness heightens and exacerbates fears. It’s only natural. That’s why he was by himself, the child can not concentrate on the game because it needs to constantly ensure that a responsible adult nearby, within walking distance. Hence the endless requests to play together: the baby feels safe only when you are with him. Of course, after some time, he will be self contained and will be able to endure loneliness. But the child will need support to learn to do without your help in the process of corral cars into the garage or organizing lunch for the dolls.
At the age of 2-4 years, the child gradually begins to understand that he is an individual and learns not to turn around to you, when asked his name, and to answer yourself. He gradually becomes individual, and this process requires a huge amount of energy. This is a difficult period, if the child is swinging on a swing, approaching you, not wanting to leave for a minute, then moves away, trying their hand at independent behavior. This is a difficult time, when at the same time he wants to stay the baby on the mother’s knees and become an adult, independent, able to take the initiative. It can seriously be distressed by such contradictory desires, his fear of loneliness increases, he feels insecure, so he needs more of your attention than usual. The baby is not enough own resources to cope with such an important change. Refusing to play one, he tells you: “Dad, mom, I still don’t feel entirely comfortable with myself”. Either he had the impression that you give him less attention. There are many reasons for his insecurity. It is important to try to understand what prevents the baby be a source of game stories and fantasies for himself, and help him to overcome these difficulties.
Know when to stop
When your kid is calling you to systematically play with him, don’t feel obliged to respond to his request immediately! If you really are busy or want to relax a bit, you can calmly and firmly tell him “I’m busy Now and can’t help you. I will definitely play with you when you’re free”. You don’t become bad parents, denying the child the immediate fulfilment of his request. You just let him know that you are an individual, your needs, and have a right to expect patience and understanding. Even if a small child is not yet able to manage without help, he cannot always be dependent on other people and from their presence. This may complicate his adult life! We all need their own little world, in which we are able to get pleasure from intimacy. Playing alone, the child turns to his imagination, he imitates, introduces himself to someone else. In his game he can imagine himself several characters, to build relationships between them, to speak for them. If you are a permanent member of his games, this process is somewhat slowed down.
The whole world
To the kid played independently, offer a large selection of games. At 2-3 years in his Arsenal should be a wide variety of toys: cars, animals, dolls and everything that is attached to them. At this age you should not limit the selection of toys, buying boys only technique, and the girls are just dolls and soft toys. The child learns the world in all its diversity, and such artificial limitations limit his game.
Buy for the baby house-the tent in which he can retire when you’re around. He will feel comfortable in such a small, cozy space. Ask him to invite to his house guests and to make them a tea party. Ask his permission before to look for him. This is a good way to give the child to feel that he is shielded from the sudden intrusion. This approach will open to him another pleasant side of loneliness, the ability to manage your time and space at their discretion.
Baby taking its first steps in the world of logic representations: think of the designers and puzzles. And, of course, colored pencils, paint, colored clay, scissors with blunt ends and glue for the little ones will find their application in his work. And don’t forget about picture books that your child can be viewed in isolation. after reading them along with you!
The Golden mean
The baby needs you to learn to play independently.
Inspire it. Watch him at a distance and, when you notice that he’s got anything, please pay attention to this. Praise its construction, comfort in a doll house or correctly assembled jigsaw puzzles. To agree to play alone, the child should be sufficiently sure of himself. He needs to hear that he does everything well and correctly.
Help him to find employment. Sometimes, being alone, he doesn’t know what to do. He felt embarrased in front of a mountain of toys, it is difficult to make a choice. Not insisting on a particular game, you can help him choose the lesson by asking questions in a playful way. The kid will probably pick up one of your ideas, and he will immediately desire to play.
Stay tuned. Do not sit in close proximity, but do not go too far away and talk to them without leaving their classes. Your voice will fill the void, frightening the child.
Show interest in the kid games. In order to help them make a choice, you need to confidently navigate his toys and to have an idea about his preferences.